Lovely story as ever. Subverting a client’s thinking.

Just thought I’d look you up for a bit of moral relief after being notified of the Cannes show itinerary and wanted to die when everybody is still banging on about memorable advertising after you’ve told them God knows how many times most advertising is a significant waste of money because everyone wants to make a forgettable film these days.

People live more and more in their heads all day long. Most people now spend half of their time looking down into a mobile phone before being hit by a hospital bed a wheelchair, a car, a bus, a lorry, a phonethief.

I moved out of advertising because it was rubbish, and got fed up of clients clowning around with the work as many of us do, and I have no regrets. Only the best of the best of the best remain. Some by virtue, others by insatiable greed.

I only work part time now. I call it my “charity work” and I hear so many great stories from brave people fighting to survive. It puts advertising totally in perspective because the country is now polarised by hopeless managers and nothing resonates with the general public.

NOTHING.

Id love to hear your take on the latest Oreos poster campaign. Its clean and simple, but it appears online that people are claiming the white filling is made up of all sorts of “weird ingredients” giving people Atherosclerosis?

I dont know if this is true or false, but I would imagine a few wise words from you would be far more beneficial to young creatives out there in the wilderness on how to deal with difficult brands like this than getting a memorable sunstroke fantasising in Cannes.

I would offer these poor Cannes unfortunates a wheelchair, but the hospital has just run out of them due to their increasing popularity at the local Lidls.